Keanu Reeves Pens Severely Depressing Book

It looks like Keanu Reeves has a sense of humor when it comes to his stereotyped sadness. According to The Guardian, the often glum actor has penned a book titled, 'Ode to Happiness.'

But the actor's book is far from sunny.

"I draw a hot sorrow bath. In my despair room," reads one line.

Each page of the book features a line more somber than the last -- printed in large ink blot letters that look as though they've been smudged by falling tears. The book ends with a single black hole and the words, "It can always be worse."

Quick! Somebody offer this man a role in the next Reese Witherspoon romantic comedy -- that ought to cheer up this aching actor. But not so fast, ironically, the depressing literary work wasn't originally created with the intention to depress.

"I was in my kitchen hanging out with my friend Janey, and the radio was on," Reeves said in explaining the inception of his book. "And this station was playing, like, an orgy of depressing, self-pitying, nostalgic music ... It was so voluptuously horrible. And I just started to write on this piece of paper, because I had this image of, you know, that moment when you take a bath, you light that candle, and you're really just kind of depressed. And it was making Janey laugh so hard, I just kept going, piling on the self-pity."

So self-pity for the sake of laughter and happiness? Okay, we get it -- a satirical self-help book of sorts.

Once the book was complete, Reeves was planning on keeping it on his bookshelf as merely a reminder of the good laugh but friends began demanding copies and Reeves decided to spread the joy -- or deep rooted depression -- to anyone with just over $50 to spare. So what's next for the comic disguised as a manic depressive? Reeves hopes to publish an equally dark book of poems.

"I'm considering another idea I call 'Haikus of Hope,'" Reeves pontificated. "Basically like, 'I want to kill myself,' and go from there."

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