'Rock of Ages' Movie Trailer

The week that Tom Cruise makes his triumphant return as Ethan Hunt in “Mission: Impossible   Ghost Protocol” is the same week that he makes his most dramatic   and hilarious   transformation

since he turned into a Diet Coke-drinking, hip-hop-rapping overweight movie producer named Les Grossman in “Tropic Thunder.” His “Rock of Ages” onstage rocker, Stacee Jaxx, has the longest (and dreamiest) hair we’ve ever expected to see on him, though the whole signing a groupie’s boobs thing isn’t too far off.

The adaptation of the hit Broadway musical doesn’t actually star Cruise as its lead, though. That role goes to Diego Boneta, who thus far has only really starred in teen shows like “Pretty Little Liars” and “90210,” but who is playing Adam in the recently delayed adaptation of “Paradise Lost.” The leading lady is “Footloose” star Julianne Hough, who plays Boneta’s love interest.

Needless to say, we aren’t going to be tuning in for these relative unknowns. We’re going to be watching for Alec Baldwin, Paul Giamatti, Bryan Cranston, Will Forte, Russell Brand, Catherine Zeta-Jones and, of course, Cruise. Kevin Nash, Malin Akerman and Mary J. Blige help sweeten the deal too.